Friendship...

How do you make up for letting all the people that have kept you going in some way shape or form down...? Does friendship really mean a total loss of emotions or is it an extension of it, a connection with it? I've been the worst friend, the best friend, and just he okay guy that tends to break ties between people he cares about as a form of defense from being broken over again. Does it matter if your insecurities drive you to do things you normally wouldn't do, and does it make it better that you claim insanity over the whole thing? I'm not making much sense to you all I know, and I'm sorry for that.

But what I want to know is how do you get over being insecure... hopeless... and still strive to have connection with someone that you know is and will forever be important to your life?